The Generous Life

What does it mean to live well?

It's the question beneath all our other questions. We chase career milestones, optimize our schedules, build impressive resumes—all while wondering if we're actually living the life we want. We measure ourselves by salary, title, square footage. And somehow, no matter how much we achieve, the finish line keeps moving.

Arthur Brooks calls this the "striver's curse." High achievers wind up finding their successes increasingly unsatisfying, their inevitable decline terrifying, and their relationships lacking. We thought accomplishment would bring fulfillment. Instead, we just want more.

I see this all the time. People—by every external measure successful—who feel exhausted, anxious, disconnected. They've built impressive containers but forgotten what the container was supposed to hold.

Measuring the Wrong Things

Writer Sahil Bloom argues our culture measures “living well” all wrong. We focus obsessively on financial wealth while ignoring four other critical dimensions: Time (freedom to spend it on what matters), Social (deep relationships and community), Spiritual (purpose and meaning), Physical and Mental (health and vitality). When we optimize for money alone, we often sacrifice the very things that make life worth living.

The irony? Research consistently shows that beyond a certain baseline of financial security, more money doesn't increase happiness. But you know what does? Strong relationships. A sense of purpose. Time spent on things that matter. And, especially, generosity.

The Paradox of Giving

Jesus said it two thousand years ago: "Those who try to keep their life will lose it, but those who lose their life will find it." It's one of the most counterintuitive teachings in history—and one of the truest.

Here's what I've discovered in my own life and watching others: generous people aren't depleted by their generosity. They're energized by it. The more tightly we grip our resources—our time, our money, our attention—the more impoverished we become. The more freely we give, the wealthier we feel.

When you give your time to something meaningful, you don't have less time—you have clearer priorities about how to spend it. When you invest deeply in a few relationships rather than collecting hundreds of shallow connections, you don't have less social wealth—you have more. When you give financially in ways that align with your values, you don't feel poorer—you feel liberated from the treadmill of always needing more, and meaningfully part of something greater than yourself.

This is the paradox Jesus named: trying to save your life makes you lose it. Opening your hands helps you find it.

Arthur Brooks found that as we mature, purpose naturally shifts from "what am I good at?" to "what does the world need from me?" That transition—from success to significance, from achievement to service—is where the good life actually begins. Not in our twenties when we're building our careers, but later, when we finally stop performing and start contributing.

This isn't about becoming a martyr or giving until you're empty. It's about discovering that the good life isn't found in accumulation—it's found in participation. In being part of something larger than yourself. In knowing your life matters beyond your own comfort.

Your Next Step

I think about the people I know who genuinely seem to be living well. They're not necessarily the wealthiest or most successful by conventional measures. But they have deep friendships. They're connected to work that matters. They're generous with their time and resources. They've defined "enough”, gotten off the treadmill, and decided to let their lives be about more.

They've discovered a path to holistic well-being. And universally, their generosity isn't a drain on that well-being. It's what creates it.

So here's my invitation as we enter a new year: What if you stopped asking "How much is enough?" and started asking "What does generous living look like for me?"

Maybe that's finally volunteering that one hour per week that changes everything. Maybe it's beginning to give regularly or increasing your giving by just one or two percent. Maybe it's being fully present with people instead of half-listening while scrolling. Maybe it's defining "enough" so you can actually rest—and invest in what matters.

The good life you're seeking—the one that feels meaningful, connected, purposeful? It might be found in the very act of giving it away.

Jesus knew it. Research confirms it. And the people living the most fulfilled lives embody it.

Try to keep your life, and you'll lose it. Give it away, and you'll find it.

Written by By Rev. Jonathan Perry